Ever look at a familiar word for so long that it starts to look, and sound, completely strange? That feeling’s called jamais vu. It’s kind of like the oppsosite of a deja vu, only a bit more terrifying I guess. Familiarity is comfort, isn’t it? For most people anyway.
Jamais vu. Happens when you’re in love sometimes. You wake up to the same face everyday, the same voice, you complete each others sentences and you find yourself at home and then one day, all of a sudden, you’re not the same person any more. It may be just you, it may be both you and him, it may be the entire world, but something changes. Something you’re not in control of. And the same universe that seemed to be conspiring to set you guys up for life now just seems to want to pull you apart.
And somewhere along the road you realise, you still know him as you once knew him and he changes and you change and now it’s just a mess because the new you knows the old him and that’s hardly of any use. But that’s if you knew him at all, in the first place.
And what is love?
Billion dollar question, that one. People have spent their lives writing pages and pages, trying to put it in words, creating music with the wildest assortment of instruments to convey their interpretation of love, painted a thousand canvases to recreate the imagery, and somehow, somewhere down the line, when they didn’t find the right answer, they just stopped looking. It’s sad, it truly is, but the fact of the matter is, you can’t live your life trying to pixelate a fractal idea.
I’ll be honest, I don’t know what love is. There’s been a few times in my life I thought I did, but I don’t. I know Math, I really know my mom, I know the peach blouse goes with the mint jeans if I accessorise right. Love, I don’t know.
It’s unfamiliar territory. Even if it’s just from jamais vu.